Make new friends, but keep the old

Friendship is what makes life happy.  Friends love one another by choice, spend time together because they want to, talk, share, commiserate, laugh.  In this hectic day and age, people come and go quickly, and holding on to real friends is hard.  But if you’re lucky enough to find a friend, and keep that friendship going and going, that’s a gift beyond measure.  Who else remembers the same events, laughs and cries at the same things, knows what you’re thinking before you do?

“The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship.”
– Joseph Addison

My oldest and dearest friend is Maryellen.  We’ve known each other ever since we can remember…

Maryellen lived in the house right across the street.  Her world couldn’t have been more different than mine – she had a HUGE yard with two tree houses (one about 15 feet up, one a cute little dollhouse on the ground), a wide front porch, a cool circular flower garden.  She had her own room, and only one brother.  We were inseparable.

I remember… playing with dolls on the front porch, having chocolate milk with lunch, dancing to 45s in Maryellen’s room, waiting for my sister to come off the schoolbus in front of Maryellen’s house, playing Canasta for hours on end, eating grapes from the vines in her back yard, being scared of each other’s dads, going to Cape May for a week for several summers, walking down to State Street in Media for movies or shopping, taking Maryellen with us to Allentown Fair to see the Osmonds, wanting Maryellen to see what I got for Christmas, always being together.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”  – Walter Winchell

I also remember the day we accidentally locked ourselves into Maryellen’s bedroom closet.  We were sure we would starve and we were quite scared as we pounded on the door, sure nobody would miss us for hours.  I bet we were only in there 5 minutes before Mrs. Morrison let us out… 

I remember an awful Girl Scout camping trip, when Maryellen was the smart one who called her parents to come get her at the first sign of the kind of discomfort we’d have (awful food, lumpy beds, no heat or indoor facilities)… I wish I had left with her! 

I remember the day Maryellen’s mother died (from cancer).  We came home from school and there were lots of cars parked around her house.  We both knew what that meant.  She didn’t want a lot of fuss, but the teachers at Nativity took her entire class to the funeral Mass; I felt bad because I knew she just wanted to grieve in quiet.

I remember the day I got stitches in my knee.  (I was helping keep the school clean and was kneeling on the windowsill to wash windows; the bottom one was cracked, and it broke when I hit it accidentally with my knee.)  I think I got six stitches, but Maryellen came over in a complete panic after school because rumor had it that I had fallen out the window, was taken away in an ambulance, and was likely bleeding to death!

I remember having a falling-out just once.  We were playing near the garden and we came across a big spider which creeped us both out.  After the screaming died down, the spider was nowhere to be found.  Maryellen asked me if it was in her pocket.  Now, I thought that was a pretty dumb question, so I responded sarcastically – “yeah, it’s in your pocket.”  Well poor Maryellen really freaked out then, and it took me a few minutes to get her to understand I was kidding.  She didn’t talk to me for days.  Don’t kid your best friend… especially about spiders!

The best times were walking and talking.  As we grew older, we got in the habit of taking a walk around the neighborhood for a half hour or so every day after school.  Since we were not in the same grade (and eventually not even in the same school), we had catching up to do.  I don’t think those conversations were profound, but they were comforting.  They still are.

We went to each other’s high school graduation, and I sang at Maryellen’s wedding.  Even as Maryellen got married and I moved to New England for a few years, we stayed in touch and shared our lives.  We’ve eaten countless meals together and shopped together in every local venue you can name.  We’ve spent hours on the phone.  It’s funny – many people with long-term friends will remember party times, and wild escapades of youth.  With Maryellen, I know the profound pleasure of just being in the presence of a true, dear friend.

“It’s not the talking that counts between friends.  It’s the never needing to say what counts.”  – Shawn Green

Of course, there have been times when we have not been as much in tune with each other as we could have been.  I know I missed some important times in her life, and I know she’s sometimes had trouble keeping up with mine as well.  When Maryellen’s daughter Aubrey got married, Maryellen introduced me to all of the people at the reception as her “best friend.”  It reminded me of what we had together, and what we could continue to be for one another.

There’s an old Girl Scout song that goes:

“Make new friends, but keep the old. 
One is silver and the other’s gold.” 

Here’s to Maryellen… definitely gold.